PARENTS
This post is for my parents.
My parents didn't get the opportunity to have a proper education. They didn't finish their high school due to my grandparents' financial, back then. My mom was married to my father when she was only 16 years old; and my father was 20. When she told me this story, I could tell from her face how devastated she was for not being able to finish school. She would tell me that if she had another chance - she would at least finish her high school. She just wanted to feel like she accomplish something in life. Mother, you have me.
I, on the other hand, get everything I want in life.
Everyday, my parents will remind me to study hard and never give up. Always remind me of how proud they are, although during SPM time I failed my maths - still, they never said they were disappointed or anything. But, deep down, I knew they were expecting the best from me - but I gave them worst of the worst.
God knows how hard my studies life is. I am not smart. I was never a smart student even during high school. I have my own struggles and sometimes I just want to give up because being dumb is not fun. I have to work extra hard everyday. I have to annoy my lecturers when I don't understand something. I have to ask my lecturers what can I improve, what can I do to have good grades - all because I don't want to fail my family - myself.
I remember crying to my parents because I failed my algebra. It took me days to put in right words to tell my parents that I failed a subject that costs 1.2k. The look on their faces are something I will never forget. I cried because I know I have disappoint them. I've seen my dad working hard so I would get a degree. I've seen my mother telling my father to never give up on us - family because the economy is giving a hard time on us. I've seen my sisters telling me to never take advantage of what I have now, because they didn't get the same privilege.
All because they want me to be successful in the future - that everything is worth it, in the end.
Of course my biggest fear is failure. I'm worried if one day I failed my parents - and everything they have spent on me will be...nothing.
I just want them to know that - this degree is for them.
Whatever I do, is for my parents.
My parents didn't get the opportunity to have a proper education. They didn't finish their high school due to my grandparents' financial, back then. My mom was married to my father when she was only 16 years old; and my father was 20. When she told me this story, I could tell from her face how devastated she was for not being able to finish school. She would tell me that if she had another chance - she would at least finish her high school. She just wanted to feel like she accomplish something in life. Mother, you have me.
I, on the other hand, get everything I want in life.
Everyday, my parents will remind me to study hard and never give up. Always remind me of how proud they are, although during SPM time I failed my maths - still, they never said they were disappointed or anything. But, deep down, I knew they were expecting the best from me - but I gave them worst of the worst.
God knows how hard my studies life is. I am not smart. I was never a smart student even during high school. I have my own struggles and sometimes I just want to give up because being dumb is not fun. I have to work extra hard everyday. I have to annoy my lecturers when I don't understand something. I have to ask my lecturers what can I improve, what can I do to have good grades - all because I don't want to fail my family - myself.
I remember crying to my parents because I failed my algebra. It took me days to put in right words to tell my parents that I failed a subject that costs 1.2k. The look on their faces are something I will never forget. I cried because I know I have disappoint them. I've seen my dad working hard so I would get a degree. I've seen my mother telling my father to never give up on us - family because the economy is giving a hard time on us. I've seen my sisters telling me to never take advantage of what I have now, because they didn't get the same privilege.
All because they want me to be successful in the future - that everything is worth it, in the end.
Of course my biggest fear is failure. I'm worried if one day I failed my parents - and everything they have spent on me will be...nothing.
I just want them to know that - this degree is for them.
Whatever I do, is for my parents.